


See Me Again

by Sofipitch



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7394242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sofipitch/pseuds/Sofipitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amethyst always said hello seeing as they kind of knew each other and she didn’t want to come off as rude. Amethyst was always greeted with the same hollow smile.<br/>human/college au</p>
            </blockquote>





	See Me Again

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is literally Back to December by Taylor Swift  
> Also I feel "And then there was a pause" is my trademark  
> Also run-on sentences. I'm just never ready for it to end

            The first time Amethyst saw Pearl was at a party. She was a sophomore in college and it was the first party she had actually been invited to rather than snuck into. It was thrown by a mutual friend of hers and Vidalia, Greg.

            Amethyst was on the upstairs floor, hoping to find a bathroom to chill in for a second, when a girl came flying out of a bedroom close by. She was in tears, choking back sobs, black lines of mascara running down her face. Amethyst watched her run right out the front door.

            Two seconds later a chick Amethyst talked to and would maybe consider a friend if she could muster up a little more courage named Garnet walked out the front door, dumping her beer in the trash as she went. Amethyst thought that that was a waste of a beer for a crying girl. Parties tend to be full of them, although usually not so dramatic.

            She mentioned the event to Vidalia the next day but Vidalia had no idea what had transpired, although she could volunteer a name.

            Amethyst thought Pearl was kind of a pretty name.

…..

            The next time Amethyst saw Pearl was outside the coffee shop just off campus. She was sitting with Garnet so Amethyst said hello. Garnet was very kind and polite, introducing the two.

            All Amethyst could remember from the encounter was how lifeless Pearl’s eyes looked compared to her smile.

            After that Amethyst would see Pearl at odd places around campus, the library at two in the morning, the bar on a Wednesday night refusing to interact with anyone just sipping her wine. Amethyst always said hello seeing as they kind of knew each other and she didn’t want to come off as rude. Amethyst was always greeted with the same hollow smile.

            “You’ve got neck-beard syndrome. You’re convinced the damaged girl is only waiting for you to come around and fall into your arms.” Vidalia collapsed onto Amethyst’s bed, her hand on her forehead. “Whatever’s up with her, if she doesn’t mention it to you, it’s none of your business.”

            “I know, I know. I just…” Amethyst couldn’t let her go.

…..

            One day Pearl was in the library doing something unusual: reading leisurely.

            Amethyst stopped at Pearl table. “That book’s a killer.”

            Pearl looked up at Amethyst and down at her copy of _The Great Gatsby_. “Most people only remember detesting it in high school.”

            “Are you saying I can only do what most people do?”

            “Not at all.”

            There was a pause.

            Amethyst began again, “Have you read the book through the American Dream theory?” She wiggled her fingers as she spoke.

            Suddenly there was a shift in Pearl’s eyes. She was no longer shielded. She was curious. “No.”

            Amethyst took this as agency to sit down at the table with her. “It’s the best way to read the book. You have read it right? I’m not going to spoil anything if I explain?”

            Pearl shook her head quickly. “No I reread it every year.”

            “Well you know the part where…”

            They spoke for hours.

            Eventually Amethyst realized she had to go home and go to sleep if she didn’t want to hate herself tomorrow. Literary theory is not worth sacrificing sleep.

            But it was Amethyst’s first real encounter with Pearl. She learned a lot, that she is a nerd, stuck-up, and passionate.

            Amethyst could get used to the way her eyes would light up.

…..

            From then on whenever they saw each other Amethyst would stop to talk to Pearl, about her classes (she was majoring in fucking aerospace engineering), about what she was reading, about how Garnet and she were doing (Amethyst found out they were roommates).

One day she saw Pearl outside of the math building and ended up walking with her to her shared apartment. She invited her in and they ended up chatting over tea. Pearl was into fencing and martial arts. Amethyst told her she boxed on the weekends with her sister. They exchanged moves. It was fun.

Pearl ended up inviting Amethyst to come back and Amethyst did. She ended up coming a lot, anytime she didn’t have too much homework. Right before she started being friendlier with Pearl Vidalia joined Greg’s “band” and was always out, so it just so worked out Amethyst never had to be lonely. They would cook together, combing through recipe books for new things to try. Pearl liked cooking and Amethyst liked eating so it all worked out. After they finished they would go through selections on Netflix. Amethyst preferred comedy and action, Pearl preferred drama. They tried to meet halfway as often as possible. They liked at series called _Grace and Frankie_. It made Amethyst feel better about getting old one day.

Amethyst’s favorite movie that Pearl introduced her to was _Roman Holiday_. Pearl admitted she styled her hair to look like Anne did on the boat scene. Amethyst thought that was kind of cute. She was cute.

Sometimes Garnet was there and it was nice. Amethyst got to enjoy, for the first time in her life, having a friend group, a squad.

Except Pearl never talked about herself. Even Garnet opened up a little, showing her pictures of her moms off her phone. Amethyst felt like she would never know what it is that made her cry that night at the party. And she never mentioned it to Garnet. It didn’t seem right.

Pearl had an incredibly easy to read face so maybe that was why she kept her emotions so far down inside herself.

…..

Then one day it seemed her prayers were answered. Amethyst comes to Pearl’s door, and knocks. Pearl had invited her earlier in the day so she is confused as to why no one answers. Amethyst begins knocking without interruption forcing Pearl to answer the door, completely disheveled.

“Could you maybe come back tomorrow? I’m sorry.” Her hand is up near her eyes as though she is trying to conceal blood-shot eyes and tear-tracks down her cheeks. Garnet is nowhere in sight. Amethyst completely ignores Pearl and enters.

“Are you okay?” She then thinks that is a stupid question to be asking but Pearl answers to quickly. “I’m fine.”

“What happened Pearl?”

Pearl doesn’t answer and just looks at Amethyst, willing her to leave.

Amethyst walks into the dorm and begins to make Pearl some tea, completely at ease moving around Pearl’s kitchen.

They both sit below the kitchen counter and don’t speak. Pearl’s face is lit up red. Eventually she opens her mouth before completely bursting into tears. Amethyst has no idea what to say so she just rubs Pearl’s shoulder with one hand and pushes Pearl’s hair out of her tears with the other. When the teapot whistles Amethyst gets up and pours Pearl a cup.

When she calms down she sips her tea slowly. After a few minutes have passed Pearl speaks.

“I…” she sets her cup down on the floor and kept her gaze low, never looking at Amethyst. “Not too long ago I was at a party and I confessed my love for a friend of mine. She was becoming friendlier with a guy she had just met and I didn’t want to admit I was jealous. She...” Pearl’s breathing became uneven again so she took a few breaths. “She rejected me, she was very nice to me about it but she said no. She kind of stopped talking to me after that. I had originally thought that it was because she preoccupied all her time for her boyfriend.” Pearl sighed. “But I was recently informed that she is engaged. Has been for a while and someone else told me.”

This is the first time Pearl has ever mentioned being gay and some excitement stirs in Amethyst’s stomach, but she pushes down her faint hope for it wouldn’t be fair to turn away from Pearl’s current distress.

The two sit in silence for the longest time, Amethyst unsure of how she should show affection. Without really thinking Amethyst says, “That sucks.”

She regrets it the moment it comes out of her mouth because all it does is make Amethyst begin violently subbing again.

…...

            Amethyst has no clue how much time has passed when Pearl finally gets up. Amethyst looks a small window in the kitchen that faces a neighboring building. It’s dark outside.

            “I’m sorry,” Pearl says and continues before Amethyst can tell her not to. “You came to be entertained and instead you had to console me.” Her head lowers in what Amethyst can only imagine is shame. “Some evening.”

            Amethyst tries her best to appear relaxed, shoving her hands in her pockets as Pearl walks her over to the door. “No biggie. That’s what friends are for right?”

            She tries not to seem desperate as she smiles at Pearl. She wants to ask, “That’s what we are right?” but cannot muster the courage to be so open.

            But Pearl smiles back and despite her red eyes it doesn’t seem forced. Which could count as a good thing.

            “So another time then?”

            “Maybe.”

…..

 

            That other time did not come. It appeared Pearl had shut Amethyst out of her life almost completely. She could never find her public, although they had texted sparingly she now didn’t answer the phone, and the one time Amethyst tried she didn’t open her door. It was as if Pearl was attempting to simulate the pain she had exposed Amethyst to that night.

            Although it couldn’t all be considered Pearl’s fault. Amethyst stopped trying to find pearl. She wondered what it was she did wrong, refusing to think that even if she did that she should try and fix their relationship. If Pearl wanted to be all dramatic and fragile well she got it.

That’s the problem with fragile people, they let themselves break.

Weeks went by in total agony and all Amethyst could hope for was that it hurt Pearl just as much.

......

            It wasn’t until much later, when Amethyst saw Garnet outside her world history class entering another that Amethyst remembered that Garnet and Pearl were roommates.

            She debated how to approach the subject all class period. She made a plan to catch Garnet in the hall as she exited her class, hoping that Garnet’s didn’t let out earlier. She felt like a fool. Pearl had abandoned her and she had also lost Garnet. She had been so hurt she didn’t really stop to think about it. She assumed garnet was on Pearl’s side, she was definitely closer to Pearl.

            To her surprise when she exited her class Amethyst found Garnet waiting for her outside the door, just casually leaning against the wall. Amethyst froze, not expecting being approached. Garnet turned to Amethyst. “You’d been hanging out with Pearl.”

            Amethyst’s brain jumped to a worst-case-scenario involving Garnet dating Pearl and feeling their relationship had been inappropriate. Maybe that was why Pearl had pushed her away. But then how could Pearl be crying over some other girl?

            “Yeah, but we don’t talk much anymore,” Amethyst managed to say.

            “You should. She gets scared easily, form what I understand that’s why she pushed you away.”

            Amethyst felt her face flush. “Why should I be the one to go to her? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

            Garnet shrugged. “Just a suggestion.” And she walked off.

……

            Amethyst did not follow Garnet’s advice, although sometimes it did make her feel guilty about her decision. She reminded herself she didn’t start it. Why didn’t she have to pick up Pearl’s broken pieces. She barely knew her. She was a casual friend at most.

            But…

            It always came down to that didn’t it. An argument with no foundation.

……

            Amethyst had just taken her last exam of the year when there was a knock on the dorm door. Amethyst initially waited for Vidalia to answer it before she realized Vidalia wasn’t home.

            Grumbling, she opened the door and there was Pearl.

            Amethyst felt herself stop breathing.

            Pearl looked sheepish. “Umm, hello, could I come in… to talk?”

            Amethyst remained at the door.

            “I…okay.” Pearl was red in the face. She took a breath. “I came to apologize.”

            Amethyst’s eyes narrowed.

            “I understand if I lost your friendship completely but I just wanted you to know that I understand the way I treated you was poor…” The entire time she talked pearl played with her hands and made fleeting attempts at eye contact before lowering her gaze. “And I uh,” She looked straight at Amethyst, “Greatly regret it.”

            A long silence ensued.

            Pearl almost began to leave, just getting out the first syllable of a “thank you” before Amethyst spoke up.

            “Why?”

            Pearl stopped, her body angled away from the door ready to leave. No attempts at eye contact were made. “Rose visited me the next morning. For the first time in months.”

            “And?”

            “And she just gets into my head and I don’t know how to stop caring about her and even if I did I don’t want to. I was afraid…” There was a pause and sigh. “I was afraid you would replace her.”

Pearl turned directly towards Amethyst, her face red, eyes narrowed. “She is so safe and someone I’m used to. I was afraid of finding another. Even if you don’t like me I was starting to like you. And just your friendship seemed like a danger to that.” Another sigh. “Despite being very upset I felt very safe with you that night, you putting up with me. Maybe understanding.”

Pearl was crying, but she was looking at Amethyst. Waiting for her to say something.

“I think,” Amethyst sighed, “That I’m going to have to think about this.”

Pearl again turned to leave. “Thank you for hearing me out,” she said her back turned.

“Wait!”

Her yell startled Pearl. Amethyst felt bad. Pearl was still right there.

“Do you want to come in and have some tea?” Amethyst moved so that she wasn’t blocking the doorway. “I will warn you I only have chamomile though.”

Pearl looked very confused for a second, which was very cute, and then very touched. She smiled lightly and rushed her tears away with her wrist.

As she entered Amethyst grabbed Pearl, hugging her. Amethyst hugged Pearl, crushing the other to her. It had been a while.

“That sounds lovely,” Pearl breathed into Amethyst’s hair.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have netflix please watch Grace and Frankie and also Roman Holiday. You'll see I'm right about Pearl's hair.


End file.
